Tim Habersack

Where I put my things..

I don't control all the communication

Oct 12th 2011

Does this ever happen to you? You get an email or text from someone you haven't heard from in a while, with a message of, "Hope all is well, haven't heard from you in a while." Or something similar. What is even worse are the ones you hear it through others, where someone says, "Bob Balaw wanted me to tell you he misses you."

The older I get, the more this irks me. My main gripe with it is this: Communication goes both ways. It isn't my responsibility to always initiate communication. If someone misses you, why don't they contact you? At least with something more than a, "haven't heard from you in a while". Because that means that I haven't heard from them in a while too. But the implication I see there is that it is my responsibility to contact them, and I haven't. Which really, if you think about it, is manipulative. Some emotional blackmail, that. Especially if they use a parent or someone you really care about to convey the message.

I guess my point is this: if you want to talk to someone, or miss someone, initiate communication! Don't send guilt-laden messages.

This post is in no way is a result of recent life events. :)